So, it’s useless to start again with when I got up and why. More important is a prologue about some shattering experiences in the afternoon, when after awakening I found it impossible to sit and write the paper I promised to send Mr Rehan in time. He is so decent that he always ignored my irresponsible response and assigned me a new topic again to help me earn. God knows when I will mend my ways of living to earn decently and live a grown-up life. I am 34 and still unable to hold some job or work consistently to earn money and support my family and see my parents happy with my style of living. I waste a great deal of time surfing the Internet without any purpose or specific aim in my mind. When the bill will be received of this month, no doubt my father should kick me out with the complaint that I made him subscribe to the PTCL Broadband Pakistan connection with the hope that I will earn thousands of rupees a month by writing papers at home.
I felt so bad and helpless to think straight. I felt so depressed and confused. I always believed I should live by some golden principle to bring order in my otherwise chaotic life. How can this life be lived without some principle that works best in the interest of the human? How can anybody believe in nothing? Will religion, if religion is beard, headgear, some principles of Muhammad (PBUH) to live life in this 20th century out of sync with modernity, save me painfully trudging along the road to oblivion and abysmal science (or arts)? Why? Why can’t I let go of the idea of studying psychology and turn over a new leaf? Start on something else, something new, like business administration, or computer science?
I prayed in the evening at Asr time and felt so fresh and invigorated when I begged Almighty Allah for peace and prosperity. I will continue begging him, and never leave this practice. I will continue this like some medicine. Stelazine. Prothiaden. Maybe this is the only source of salvation for me.
In the evening again, I had a good time chatting in an Opera room, hope. Ulma is a nice moderator and knows how to supervise a chit chat on the Internet. I read the brief statement of an Indian guy–oops! I forgot his name–on his blog and found him lonely and dependent. Are others also the same? I put a question in the room why all are here chatting like unreal world. Unreal means not real, or far from real. If continued for long habitually like some addiction, this may turn into some deep psychological problem. The people in the room should socialize and live with real people around.
At night, I went to Ayesha to teach her. She is my sweet niece. She has English paper tomorrow. I then came back and visited some sites which are amazing. Below I list all of them and say Good Night to you all!
‘Surveillance Society’ – John Major – Former British Prime Minister Says War On Terror Measures Are ‘Bogus’
A Free & Comprehensive Guide To The World of Psychology
An Interview with Francine Shapiro, Ph.D. on Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) – Psychotherapy
Chowk: India Pakistan Ideas Identities
EARCOS Teachers’ Conference 2008
HIV/AIDS Rethinkers
Scribd
NLP Directory and database
Science Training Certification Training
Scientology Kills Siberia USA
